Yesterday discussions were going on inside **** sirs room which is right next to my seat about the possible replacements to ***. It seems they are taking up new guys to plug the gap in the ***** ******* since ****** has resigned and ****** is also going to resign. For a second I was thinking if I had been there.... I could have been the ***** ******.. Something which I really wanted to do in my life...
Its like they say.. WHEN YOU LOSE SOMETHING IMPORTANT.. YOU LOSE EVERYTHING AFTER THAT .....
It is a big loss professionally and I know that. Even leaving the ***** ****** ****** position was indeed a loss too..All these thoughts come to the fore when I think about the list of things I have lost in the Last one years time.
Of course.. Everyone except you didn't want me to leave the post..But since you rejected the offer to move out.. I had to take the decision to move out myself.You would have no problem working in the same office with me even after your marriage.. But I am not like that.. Also you never understood that you yourself made me so involved in your activities which made it extremely hard for me to anything else .We had discussed everything in your life.. everything . ..That deepness is taking its toll on me now... Even now I am not able to find the rhythm to live happily...
I should have sticked on with my initial decision to resign ..because then I wouldn't have to hear all these conversation which hits me hard in my heart. I was actually surprised a few months back when I heard that now you want to come to the place where I work and that because of me you are not able to put up a transfer request... I kept thinking for a lot of time .. how could someone think like that even...You had always told me my dear that because of you nobody should get hurt.... But your activities have caused me immense pain in many number of cases.. Not just this instance.. a lot of instances...But as they say.. In love ..everything is okay....I left those instances without even raising it to you....
Someone I do not wish to name in our office told me after your marriage that you are the most selfish person you can ever see .... How easily you were talking with ****** when you needed some help even after your issues with him... that person told me that you would just do the same with me.. That you just want your life to be easy safe and happy.... I didn't object anything to what that person said.. even now thinking about it I think there is no point in objecting it....
You know what.. thinking all these.. I do feel immense pain in my heart and my eyes are wet.. But Something inside still keeps telling me that you had to do it.. that you had no choice...IS IT?
I am in deep shit and Just keeping myself alive for the sake of my Parents.. There is nothing to live for in my life except that.. Nothing happy to think about...
Idiot
Its like they say.. WHEN YOU LOSE SOMETHING IMPORTANT.. YOU LOSE EVERYTHING AFTER THAT .....
It is a big loss professionally and I know that. Even leaving the ***** ****** ****** position was indeed a loss too..All these thoughts come to the fore when I think about the list of things I have lost in the Last one years time.
Of course.. Everyone except you didn't want me to leave the post..But since you rejected the offer to move out.. I had to take the decision to move out myself.You would have no problem working in the same office with me even after your marriage.. But I am not like that.. Also you never understood that you yourself made me so involved in your activities which made it extremely hard for me to anything else .We had discussed everything in your life.. everything . ..That deepness is taking its toll on me now... Even now I am not able to find the rhythm to live happily...
I should have sticked on with my initial decision to resign ..because then I wouldn't have to hear all these conversation which hits me hard in my heart. I was actually surprised a few months back when I heard that now you want to come to the place where I work and that because of me you are not able to put up a transfer request... I kept thinking for a lot of time .. how could someone think like that even...You had always told me my dear that because of you nobody should get hurt.... But your activities have caused me immense pain in many number of cases.. Not just this instance.. a lot of instances...But as they say.. In love ..everything is okay....I left those instances without even raising it to you....
Someone I do not wish to name in our office told me after your marriage that you are the most selfish person you can ever see .... How easily you were talking with ****** when you needed some help even after your issues with him... that person told me that you would just do the same with me.. That you just want your life to be easy safe and happy.... I didn't object anything to what that person said.. even now thinking about it I think there is no point in objecting it....
You know what.. thinking all these.. I do feel immense pain in my heart and my eyes are wet.. But Something inside still keeps telling me that you had to do it.. that you had no choice...IS IT?
I am in deep shit and Just keeping myself alive for the sake of my Parents.. There is nothing to live for in my life except that.. Nothing happy to think about...
Idiot
No comments:
Post a Comment